Tara Davies shares what she has learned about navigating neurodivergence, disability and education. Thank you Nicaela for your generosity in sharing your thoughts with us.

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I recently listened to a fabulous interview with Dr Karen Waldie from the University of Auckland on neurodiversity. What excited me most about her research was the clear, scientific evidence that neurodivergent brains activate differently than neurotypical brains.

The science demonstrates that there is simply different wiring. Neurodivergence is not a deficit and does not require fixing.

I’m not so patiently waiting for our education system to catch up - it's currently built on a neurotypical model of learning. As parents, we fight hard to get support for our neurodivergent kids so they can thrive in a neurotypical learning environment. It’s hard work - for parents and for our children - navigating a system that isn’t designed to accommodate and include them, and doesn’t have the resources or understanding to adequately change.

There are plenty of educators working incredibly hard out there and with the best of intentions. However, the current system still requires us to correct the perceived deficiencies that are our children’s innate selves.

We wouldn’t ask a physically disabled person to try a bit harder to get out of their wheelchair and walk. Why is it still considered acceptable to ask a neurodivergent kid to try a bit harder to complete their schoolwork just like everyone else?

While there is a long way to go to address the inequities in education, here are five ideas for supporting our tamariki to thrive.

1. Focus on individual strengths and find opportunities for success

Neurodivergent people have amazing strengths and skills that neurotypical people don’t have and may never have.  Having a strengths-based focus with lots of flexibility, rather than trying to correct all the tough stuff that is considered important in a neurotypical world, can be a real game changer.

2. Protect mental health and well-being

Dr Ross Greene states that kids do well if they can.  As parents we are perfectly placed to connect with and support our kids to enable them to find their way through life so they can do well. Supporting mental health is so important.

3. Be a curious self-advocate

Advocate for your child, and where appropriate, encourage them to advocate for themselves.  Why is something not working?  Why do you want to trial a change?  What are some ideas you’d like to facilitate? Model advocacy.

4. Trust your gut

You know your child best.  Protect them.  Neurodivergence is not a result of poor parenting.  Sure, we can all benefit from assistance and tips for helping us parent our kids, but if something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.

5. Create a network of people who live and breathe neurodiversity

People who you can authentically chat to, listen to, and seek ideas from. Seek advice and support from neurodivergent adults – what do they wish their parents knew? It really doesn’t matter whether you chat to a parent of a child with dyslexia or a parent of a child with ADHD - the diagnosis doesn’t matter, the experience does.  Sometimes we all just need to get the thoughts in our head out without advice or judgment.