In today’s world, bullying is no longer confined to the schoolyard or the local playground. If your child has access to a smartphone or the internet, then they’re at risk of being bullied online, scammed or preyed upon. And if your child has an intellectual disability or a neurodivergent condition such as autism, they can be especially vulnerable.

The pros and cons of online communities

A recent Australian study noted that for many people with disabilities, having access to the internet can eliminate barriers and make life richer and more expansive. Going online is an important way of interacting with the world without judgement or bias. A virtual community can be a place for disabled children to explore their identities, make friends and connect over common interests, even with people living in different hemispheres.

But while it can be exciting for children (especially for those who have experienced social isolation) when a stranger wants to ‘friend’ them, follow them or simply communicate with them, this can also mean their awareness of ‘stranger danger’ goes out the window.

Furthermore, some disabled children may not have well-developed communication skills, or have difficulty understanding other people’s intentions – both of which can be amplified online.

What can parents do?

The good news is that the way to make sure children with disabilities have safe and empowering experiences online is exactly the same as it is for other kids.

Basically: do your best to be involved in your child’s online life. Encourage regular, open and friendly conversations about their favourite websites, online games, how they use their devices and who they talk to on the internet. Don’t worry if you’re not tech-savvy yourself. The key thing is to help your child feel comfortable to talk to you about (or show you) what they do online.

Top tips for parents

• Have an online safety policy at home that your child understands. If you think it’s appropriate, write it out and get your child to sign it.
• Remind them that what’s unacceptable behaviour when they’re at school or playing with their siblings, is also not okay online. That means no name-calling, embarrassing others, inappropriate sharing of information or images.
• Be alert to your child seeming upset after using the internet or their phone.
• Check that any environment where your child has access to the internet has a cyber-safety policy, whether that’s a childcare facility, their school or the local library.
• Consider where your child uses the computer at home – it’ll be harder to know if something’s wrong if your child is online in their bedroom with the door shut.
• Use parental controls on computers and keep passwords safe so children cannot access inappropriate sites.
• Use online tools to limit your child’s profile so that only accepted friends can view content. Use in-built security features to monitor online activity, or consider purchasing an app.
• Make your child aware that there are real consequences to their online behaviour, and that once something is shared online, they could lose control over who sees it and how many people see it.
• Let your child know they should tell you if any online interaction or content makes them feel icky, embarrassed or scared. Check in regularly with them to see if anything has changed in their online behaviour and whether there’s anything to be concerned about.

Reminders for your children:

• Never share usernames or passwords
• Never give personal details about yourself, family or friends to people online
• Never say things you know your parents wouldn’t approve of, even as a joke
• Don’t become friends with strangers
• Consider the consequences of your posts, chats or texts
• Immediately tell an adult you trust if you think you are the target of cyberbullying or cybercrimes.

For more information, check out the resources below, or if you prefer, contact the library directly on 0800 442 442 or email librarian@ihc.org.nz