Toilet training can be a challenge at the best of times, but for many autistic children, there are additional factors to consider.

Here are 10 things for parents and carers to keep in mind:

1. Sensory overload for autistic children means they may respond negatively to the feel of a toilet seat, bright lights, or noisy hand-dryers. It can help to find ways to change these things, such as replacing a bright light with a dimmer bulb, putting a cover on the toilet seat, or choosing public toilets with hand towels instead of hand-dryers.
2. Sudden changes to routines can be hard. Explaining the new routine well before you try to implement it might help. Get your child’s buy-in to the new routine with set times, routes to the toilet, one step following the other and rewards if appropriate. Use a toileting chart, so they can see when the task ends.
3. Social norms probably won’t influence. Autistic children aren’t likely to be concerned if you tell them “this is the way everyone goes to the toilet.” Explain the process in a way that makes sense to them, individually.
4. Use literal language. If you tell your autistic child that sitting on the toilet will mean they are a big girl or boy, they may take this to mean they will actually grow larger! Just stick to the facts.
5. Adjust to their communication needs. Some autistic children don’t use verbal language. They may rely on visual cues or sign language to help them know what to do. A favourite toy can help demonstrate how to use the toilet.
6. Constipation is quite common amongst autistic children, sometimes because of restricted diets. You will need specialist advice on how to deal with this. Autistic children with constipation are also more likely to experience faecal incontinence – see our article for advice on this.
7. Associated learning problems – you may need to be extra patient with your child as they master each step of the toileting journey. Use the same strategies that were successful with your child when they learned other skills.
8. Their need to control. It may be important for your child to control certain aspects of the process. For example, they may want to sit on the toilet backwards – this is okay if they can do it safely and still poo or wee in the bowl.
9. Some children perceive poo or wee as a loss, as it’s something their body made. Reassure your child that their body is doing what it is supposed to do and is a good thing.
10. Some children are concerned about getting messy or soiled and wish to be naked in the toilet. Let them do so when at home, but gradually re-introduce clothing, one item at a time, starting with socks.

If you’re struggling with any or some of the issues listed here, remember to be kind to yourself and your child - with patience and acceptance, you’ll get there in the end.

If you’d like to know more, check out the resources below, or alternatively you can contact the IHC library to chat about what you need on 0800 442 442 or email Librarian@ihc.org.nz