Puberty can be a time of emotional turmoil and angst for some teenagers - and it's no different for disabled and neurodivergent teens.

It seems a cliché to refer to moody teenagers, but there are emotional, biological, and social reasons that lie behind the stereotype. The hormone fluctuations that drive the physical changes in your teenager can also play havoc with their emotions.

Over-sensitivity, having a short-temper, hyperactivity, tearfulness and anger are just some of the emotional states your typical teen may go through over a day, sometimes within a matter of minutes!

Top tips for supporting your teen

• Some disabled children will have difficulty understanding and identifying the new, intense feelings they are experiencing. It may be up to you to help them label and express these feelings in a healthy way.
• Talk to your child about what is happening with their body and their emotions. Use picture cards, signing, books and social stories if this is something they understand and will respond well to.
• Resist the temptation to judge and lecture, and opt for listening and supporting instead. Acknowledge and validate their feelings.
• Don’t try and solve their problems for them – instead talk about possible approaches they could take to resolve the issue. Let them take the lead.
• Don’t take it personally when your child finds you embarrassing or annoying. Remember they are in the process of finding out who they are and putting distance between themselves and you are part of the process.
• Balance allowing your child to take necessary risks to grow and mature and maintaining boundaries that tell your child you are looking out for them. Give your child plenty of opportunities to make choices and to manage the risks that may be associated with those choices.
• Allow your child to go in their own direction – whether it’s forming new relationships, developing new hobbies and interests, trying on their new identity for size.
• Don't be tempted to blame your child’s erratic behaviour entirely on hormones and puberty. It's important to investigate if there are other reasons for their behaviour. Bullying at school, struggling with academic pressures or confusion about their sexual identity are all possible contenders. Simple explanations are not always the best fit – answers are more likely if you recognise your teen as the multi-layered, complex human being they are.

Key messages for your teen to hear:

• You love and support them and will respect the choices that help them grow.
• The feelings they’ve having are normal and are part of being a teenager. They may seem overwhelming at times, but it won’t always be like this.
• There are techniques to manage their feelings when they seem like they’re out of control
• If they're home and upset, ask them to let the family know they're going to take some quiet time (in their bedroom perhaps,) until they're feeling better.
• Tell them to do something that relaxes them – listen to your favourite music, play a musical instrument, practice some mindful breathing, go outside and enjoy the sun or the feel of the wind on your face. Get creative – do some writing, make some music, cook up a storm.
• Make sure you’re getting enough sleep and good things to eat.
• Talk to your parents or a trusted adult you trust about anything that’s bothering you.
• Set aside some focus time to sets goals and challenges. Think about both your strengths and weaknesses and make an action plan. 

The emotional tumult of puberty typically last for two to three years. This can seem like an eternity, but once you’re out the other side, with luck, you’ll have a resilient, self-aware young adult. Just remember to be kind and respectful to yourself and them in the meantime.